Fang: The Angel Experiment
by tgypwya
Summary: We've all read the books from Max's point of view... but what about Fang's? What's he thinking as he flies across the country to rescue Angel from the whitecoats? In other words, it's TAE from Fang's POV. Enjoy! Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

**We all konw what Max is thinking when Angel gets kidnapped... but what about, say, Fang? Well, I decided to find out.**

**Yeah, I rewrote The Angel Experiment from Fang's POV. It's a lot shorter thant the book, mainly because most of the background isn't necessary. I'll try to put about 10 TAE chapters onto one, this one's just five, in order to get started. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. (Or Fang.)**

**And here we go...

* * *

**

Hey everyone, the name is Fang. Well, that's what I call myself, since I really don't have a name. Unless you consider "Experiment Insert-Really-Long-Number-Here" a name.

If you don't know what I mean by that, you probably shouldn't be reading this. If you want my background story, go read Max's version first. Then this'll make more sense.

Of course, you've probably already read her version, so now you're wondering why I'm writing the same story all over again. You see, I don't remember everything exactly the same way she did. Heck, now that I've read how she remembers things, I think I remember most of it her way. But mainly, I figured you'd like to see things from someone else's perspective. Someone said that you've gotta see things from all angles in order to see the whole picture, or something like that. It probably was Total…

Anyway, long monologues are more of Max's thing. Let's get right to the story, shall we?

* * *

I dragged myself out of bed. If I had known how much this day would change my life, I would have stayed in bed. But Angel's the one with the best special abilities, not me. So I threw on some clothes, brushed my hair, and hoped Iggy had already gotten to the kitchen.

He hadn't gotten past the couch yet. It looked like Max was going to try to cook. I didn't feel like starving or dying of food poisoning, so I started to walk up behind her.

Apparently, I don't walk loud enough, because she spun around. "Will you _quit _that?" She asked.

"Quit what? Breathing?" Seriously, you'd think after fourteen years, she'd get used to it.

Thankfully, Iggy rose off of the couch. "I'll make eggs," he said, which meant, as usual, the blind guy was going to show us all up. Not that I cared.

"Fang? You set the table. I'll go get Nudge and Angel," Max said, taking command as usual.

"Get them an alarm clock already," I grumbled as I reached for the plates.

* * *

Scrambled eggs a la Iggy, one of my favorites. Beats anything a la Fang.

"I want to go pick strawberries today. They're ripe now," Angel said.

"Okay, Angel, I'll go with you," Gazzy said, and he immediately proved why we call him the Gasman. Cue Iggy gagging, Max scolding, and me leaving.

"Sorry," Gazzy said, but he had stopped meaning that after his third fart.

"Yeah, Angel, I think the _fresh_ _air_ would do us all good. I'll go too," Nudge said. Way to encourage him…

"We'll all go," Max decided.

I blame her.

* * *

It was a beautiful day… ho hum. I cared about as much as Iggy- out here, the days start to blend together, so you really lose interest pretty quickly.

"If you make cake, I can make strawberry shortcakes," Angel said to Max, skipping along. Max says they were holding hands, but I swear she was skipping. Maybe they were doing both… Nah, Max skipping is one of the signs of the apocalypse. The other three are Nudge not talking, Gazzy not farting, and me wearing a tie-dye shirt.

Anyway, that's when Gazzy displayed his more useful, but just as annoying, talent- if I hadn't seen his lips move, I would have thought Iggy had said "Yeah, that'll be the day, when Max makes a cake. I'll make it, Angel."

Max, however, was too busy skipping or whatnot to notice, and she turned on Iggy. "Oh, thank you! Okay, I'm not a fabulous cook, but I can still kick your butt, and don't you forget it!"

I admit, that made me smile, but it was Iggy's laughing that gave Gazzy away. "Was that _you?_" Max asked, and Gaz tried to shrug off the question. Suddenly, Angel screamed. Then all hell broke loose.

A whole crapload of Erasers dropped from the sky. (Don't ask, I wasn't paying attention) I balled my fists and leapt toward the closest one. _You will not screw up my life today, _I thought.

Dear Lord, was I wrong.

* * *

**Well, that was short... Of course, TAE has over 130 chapters, so maybe I should do 15 or so at a time... Anyway...**

**So? What do you think? Did I capture Fang's thoughts perfectly? Terribly? Review (please) and tell me how you liked it!**

**Oh, and thanks for reading! The next few chapters should be up soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**And Chapter 2. The chapters won't be as quick in succesion after this, I wanted to get the beginning established quickly.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing's changed since the last chapter...**

**

* * *

**

Max was fighting like a maniac; I was able to see her take one Eraser down and move on. Iggy wasn't doing so hot… And Gazzy went down hard. I couldn't see Nudge and Angel, but I could hear them.

And me? I was locked in a one-on-one death match with one of our "friends". I punched him solidly in the face, er, snout, and was about to jump on him as he recoiled… when two more Erasers came out of nowhere, and literally tore me down. They clawed at me, bit me… if I hadn't been fighting back, they would have killed me then and there. But it didn't matter; I had no chance fighting on my back against _three_. They probably would have killed me, except they stopped and retreated. I staggered to my feet to see them running to a Humvee, dragging a sack behind them. A quick head count- Angel. Dammit. I helped up the Gasman, and then we both ran over to Max, who was unconscious.

"Max?" Gazzy asked, scared. I knew how he felt- he was hoping this was all a really really _really_ bad dream. Thankfully, Max was coming to.

"I'm okay," she groaned. "Where's Angel?"

I looked into her eyes, and I don't think I needed to say it. I did anyway. "She's gone. They took her."

I helped her up. "We've got to get her," she said, "We've got to get her before they–". She froze. "Check in guys- Are you up for a chase?" Way to switch gears…

"Yes," Nudge cried. Choked. Whatever.

"I'm up," Iggy said. Gaz just nodded. I didn't react. Since when do I?

* * *

The bright side to having a blind brother? He can hear better than you. And in the world of mutants, that's pretty incredible.

So, thanks to the Igster, we were chasing down a speeding black Humvee. One problem- we were watching it drive away from the top of a cliff. The Humvee, obviously, was not on said cliff.

Wait- did I say problem?

"Let's get her!" Max screamed, right before we simply leapt into the air. Now the chase rally started.

* * *

We flew down in tight formation. I snatched a branch off of a tree and dove in at the Humvee first. I crashed down onto the windshield, probably scaring the crap out of them. But not for long, as a window rolled down- and a gun poked out. I slammed the branch down into the windshield again as bullets filled the air; the windshield shattered this time, but now their guns had a much more direct route to my head. I got airborne again as Max called out to Angel. _Like she can hear you through all this crap_, I thought. Then I saw it- A helicopter in a clearing. It just clicked.

"Up ahead!" I called out, and Max saw and understood- we had one shot to get Angel back.

Suddenly, the Humvee was in the clearing, and it slid as it braked. The first Eraser jumped out, and I dove in.

That Eraser didn't have Angel. It did, however, have abnormally large claws. I yelled and tore myself away, holding my arm, which was now covered in blood. The second Eraser jumped out and hurled a grenade at Iggy, but Nudge pulled him out of the way just in time. Eraser #3 was the torch-bearer. I saw Max pour on the speed, and I started to head in after her, but the fourth Eraser out of the Humvee had grenades too, and I was forced to change direction. I landed and ran towards the Humvee- but it was empty, and I could see Max gripping on to the helicopter's landing skid- and then she let go, and feel back to earth. They had Angel. And they were getting away.

Being mutants and all, we had no choice but to watch them fly away in painful clarity- kinda like watching a horror movie in HD TV. Not fun.

"_They have my sister!_" Gazzy screamed, punching the ground. I knelt beside him- the poor kid was already pretty beaten up, and the ground never loses a fight.

"Max, what are we gonna do?" Nudge asked. "They have _Angel._" I heard Max ignore the question and take off. I sighed. No point in following her, and with her off doing whatever she's doing, I've gotta pull us all together. Great going Max…

* * *

By the time Max came back, and we all flew home, we were pretty pissed off. Okay, _pretty_ is an understatement. Iggy picked up a mug and threw it at the wall. My head just happened to be between him and the wall.

"Watch it, idiot!" I yelled at him. Then I remembered. _Smooth, Fang…_ I rolled my eyes at Max- who was _crying._ She started to help clean up the Gasman's wounds… and Iggy decided to respond.

"_You _watch it! What _happened?_ I mean, you guys can _see,_ can't you? Why couldn't you get Angel?" I was way too pissed to yell something back. Thankfully, Gazzy did it for me.

"They had a chopper! And guns! We're not _bulletproof!_"

"Guys! Guys!" Max yelled. "We're all upset. But _we're_ not the enemy! _They're _the enemy." She started pacing, which with Max was never a good sign. "Just– be quiet for a minute so I can think." Iggy sat down on the couch, and Nudge leaned against him. I grabbed a can of ravioli, wanting to take out my anger on something, such as food.

"Take deep breaths," Gaz advised Max, which I found to be slightly ironic.

"You know, it they wanted to kill her, or kill all of us, they could have," Nudge said. "They had _guns_. They wanted Angel _alive_ for some reason. And they didn't care if _we _were alive or not. I mean, they didn't go out of their way to make _sure_ we were dead, is what I'm saying. So that makes me think we have time to go after Angel again."

"But they were in a chopper! They're way gone. They could be anywhere!" Gazzy said. "Like, China or something."

Max ruffled his hair. "I don't think they took her to China, Gazzy."

I knew nobody was going to say it, so I might as well. "We know where they took her."

"Where's that?" Iggy asked. As if he didn't know.

"The School," I answered. Max did too, at the same time. At least _we _were on the same page…

"They took Angel back to the School?" the Gasman asked.

"I think so," Max answered.

"Why? After four years, I thought maybe they had forgotten–" Nudge whispered.

I sighed again. "They want us back."

"They'll never forget us, Jeb wasn't supposed to take us out of there," Max clarified.

"Jeb knew they would do anything to get us back. IF anyone ever discovered what they did to us, it would be the end of the School," I further clarified.

"Why don't we tell on them, then?" Nudge asked. "We could go to a TV station and tell everyone, and way, Look, they grew wings on us, and we're just little kids, and–"

"Okay, that would fix _them,"_ Iggy interrupted, "But _we'd _end up in a zoo."

"Well, what are we gonna do then?" Gaz asked.

I left, going for a certain stack of papers. I shook off the mouse crap and shoved the papers at Max.

"Eew, was that–" Nudge complained. I started shuffling through them until I found an envelope, which I opened.

"What is that?" Gazzy asked.

"Map," I said simply.

"Map of what?" Nudge asked.

Max, the only other person who knew about the map, answered. "Map of a secret facility. In California. The School."

"Whaaaat?" Gazzy squeaked. Iggy went pale…paler than normal.

"That's where they took Angel, and that's where we have to go to get her back," Max said simply.

"Oh, yeah. We have to go get Angel back. We can't let her stay there—with them. They're—monsters. They're going to do bad things to her. And put her in a cage. Hurt her. But there's five of us. So the rest of us have to go get _hmph— _"Max covered Nudge's mouth. Nudge pulled her hand away and asked, "Uh, how far is it?"

"Six hundred miles, more or less, at least a seven-hour flight, not including breaks," I concluded after a few quick mental calculations.

"Can we _discuss _this?" Iggy asked. "We're way outnumbered."

"No," Max answered coldly.

"Can we take a vote? They had _guns. _And a chopper," Iggy fought.

"Iggy. This is not a democracy," Max said in return. "It's a Maxocracy. You know we have to go after Angel. You can't be thinking that we would just let them take her. The six of us look out for one another—no matter what. None of us is ever going to live in a cage again, not while I'm alive." Nice speech. Of course, she wasn't done yet. "But actually, Nudge, Fang, and I are going after Angel. You and the Gasman—I need you to stay here. Hold down the fort. On the off chance Angel escapes and makes her way home."

Pause.

"You are so full of it," said Iggy, now really pissed off. "That's not why you want us here. Why don't you just say it?"

Max wouldn't say it. "Okay," she said. "It's true. I don't want you to come. The fact is, you're _blind,_ and while you're a great flyer around here where you know everything, I can't be worrying about you in the middle of a firefight with the Erasers." Holy crap, she said it.

I think Iggy was going to explode. Before he could do so, however, Gazzy interrupted. "What about _me? _ I don't _care _if they have guns and a chopper and Erasers. She's _my _sister!"

"That's right. And if they want her so bad, they might want _you _just as bad," Max said. "Plus, you're a great flyer, but you're eight years old, and we're going to be logging major hours."

"Jeb would never have made us stay," Iggy said angrily. "Never. Ever."

"Maybe not," Max admitted. "We'll never know. Jeb's dead. Now everyone get your gear together."

There's no arguing with Max' logic. There's no arguing with Max, anyway. We were off.

* * *

**Heheh, when Max said, "But _we're_ not the enemy! _They're _the enemy," I started singing "Know Your Enemy". Seriously. Okay, I played in in iTunes and hummed along... whatever.**

**Anyway, I hoped you liked it, thanks for reading! Please review! Let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Max- So this is one of your other stories, huh?**

**Me- Hey, what are you doing here? This is called an "other" story for a reason.**

**Max- I'm invading your "other" stories now.**

**Me- *sigh* Okay, whatever. I don't own jack, except for Max here.**

**Max- You don't own me.**

**Me- Just shut up, please?**

* * *

There's nothing quite like flying along at nearly a hundred miles an hour, just flying along silently, listening to the wind whistle past you ears and feeling the blood pump through your wings.

Apparently, nobody else appreciates the "silently" part.

"We clear on Plan B?" Max called out, as if we didn't go over it a million times already.

"Uh-huh," said Nudge. "If we get separated somehow—though I don't see how we could, unless maybe one of us gets lost in a cloud or something—do you think that could happen? I haven't ever been inside a cloud. I bet it's creepy. Can you see anything inside a cloud—" Max shot her a Shut-Up-Now-Look and she swiftly finished. "We meet up at the northmost point of Lake Mead."

"And where's the School?" Why was Max encouraging her?

"In Death Valley, eight miles due north from the Bad-water Basin." I decided to ignore the rest of the conversation and fly on. Of course, Max flew over towards me.

"On the plus side, flying is just really, really cool," she said. Can she read minds or something? "On the minus side, we're mutant freaks who will never live a normal life."

I shrugged. "Win some, lose some."

"Max?" Nudge asked, "I was thinking, I mean, right before we left? I just looked at Jeb's old files, you know? And some of them were about us. Or me. I saw my name on a page, my real name, Monique, and then, like, some people's names, and then—Tipisco, Arizona. Tipisco is right on the Arizona-California border—I found it on the map. Real…"

Conversation zone-out time.

* * *

"Max? I'm starving." Nudge was hungry. So was I, and I'd bet anything Max was too. Why we hadn't landed already was beyond me.

"Okay, okay. We need food." Max said. "Fang! We need to refuel. Ideas?" And why was she asking me?

Of course, I started to rack my brain. Mountains… we were flying over the mountains… there were breaks in the trees… ski slopes. Ski resorts. And is wasn't ski season. I looked over at Max, who had already figured this out herself. "Ski slopes," I said, and I nodded. "Pre-season. Empty vacation houses."

"Would they _have food?" _Nudge asked. No duh.

"Let's go find out," Max said.

* * *

We circled the mountains, and Max led us away from the "city" centers. Suddenly Max dove, and Nudge and I followed. She landed near a cabin that looked completely empty.

We snuck up on the house– yeah, we _snuck up_ on a _house._ Hey, I'm not the leader. Anyway, Max's sneak-up-on-a-freaking-_house_- method included a quick scan for security and a very careful removal of a window screen.

I would have just flown straight through the Goddamned window, but I let Max do it her way.

I was the first in after I helped Max pry it open, followed my Nudge and the boss. The whole place was covered in dust. I doubt anyone had been here recently. And by recently, I mean, like the last decade.

Of course, Max had to prove me wrong. She tore open the cupboards and found the canned-food jackpot.

"Bingo!" She called, holding up some soup. "Oh, yeah, pay dirt, woo-hoo! We're golden!"

Sometimes I worry about that girl.

I found some warm, flat, dusty orange soda and personally finished off about an entire cupboard. Nudge and Max both ate pretty much the exact same amount. Which, for all of us, was too much.

"Uhhnnhh," Nudge moaned. "I feel like, like _concrete."_

"Let's take ten, rest a bit," I said, going to sleep, whether the girls liked it or not. "Digest a minute, we'll feel better."

Max woke me up, with her sneezing and running around screaming about oversleeping. There's no such thing as oversleeping…

* * *

I climbed off of the couch. "What time is it?"

"Almost morning!" Max yelled. _"Of the next day!"_

_Good job Sherlock. I'm getting packed. _ I went over to the kitchen and started packing away all of the food we _didn't_ eat, all five cans of it.

"Wha's happ'nin'?" Nudge asked as she dragged herself off of the couch.

"We fell asleep!" Max yelled again. "Come on! We've gotta go!" Then she turned to me. "Fang, you can't carry all that," I said. "It'll weigh you down. Nothing's heavier than cans."

I knew that. I didn't care. I zipped up the bag and headed back out the window, off into the sky.

* * *

Max was pissed. Why? We fell asleep. Great reason, I know. I flew up beside her. "We _had_ to rest."

"For ten _hours?_"

"Today we've got another four hours to go, maybe a bit more," I pointed out. "We couldn't have done it in one shot. It was late when we left. We're going to have to stop again anyway, right before we get there, and refuel."

I think she got the message, and I know she's smart enough not to argue.

* * *

"We going to storm the place or what?" I asked. Yes, I only just spotted the gaping hole in the plan then.

"Yeah, Max, I was wondering what your plan was," said Nudge, coming up alongside. "I mean, there's only three of us, and a whole bunch of them. And the Erasers have guns. Could we, like, drive a truck through the gates? Or even into a building? Or maybe we could wait till nightfall, sneak in, and sneak out with Angel before anyone notices us."

For some strange reason, Max didn't bother responding. For some stranger reason, Nudge didn't keep talking. For a quite common reason, I just kept my mouth shut and my wings pumping.

* * *

Naturally, Nudge wouldn't shut up for long. "Gosh, I wonder what Iggy and the Gasman are doing now? Maybe they got the TV working again. I hope they don't feel too bad. It would have—I mean, I guess it's kind of easier for them to be home. But I bet they're not cleaning up or getting wood or doing any of their chores."

I know those boys better than Nudge. I'd bet anything they'd turned the TV into something dangerous and explosive. Not to mention pretty much everything of Max's. Just to get back at her.

Speaking of Max… She spotted something on the ground, and I recognized the look on her face immediately. "No," I said. She opened her mouth to say something, but I just repeated, "No."_ We're already on a rescue mission, _I thought, _You don't need to be "The Great Maximum Ride" _now._ You're going to get yourself killed, or worse, hurt. Seriously, you'll just try to ignore the pain, and then you'll slow us down, and by the time we reach the School-_

"Meet me at the northernmost point of Lake Mead," Max said, interrupting my mind-ramblings.

"What? What are you talking about?" Nudge asked. "Are we stopping? I'm hungry again."

"Max wants to go be Supergirl, defender of the weak," I snarled. _Please, don't do this._

"Oh." Nudge looked down, looking for whatever it was the Amazing Max deemed worthy of saving.

Max started to circle, and Nudge started to blabber. "Oh! Max, remember when you got that little rabbit away from the fox, and we kept it in a carton in the kitchen, and then when it was well you let it go? That was cool. Did you see another rabbit?"

"Kind of," she said. "It'll take two seconds." Bull.

She turned to me. "I'll catch up with you guys before you've gone forty miles. Just keep on course, and if anything weird happens, I'll meet you at Lake Mead."

_Whatever, Max. Go save the day. Your funeral. _I flew on, silently.

"Okay, see you in a few," she said before she dove.

* * *

**Max- Fang doesn't think like that.**

**Me- Wanna bet?**

**Max- Um, yeah, I think I will.**

**Me- How about I give you a chocolate chip cookie, and you leave this story?**

**Max- Three cookies.**

**Me- Two cookies, and I don't mention your Fang plushie in this story.**

**Max- Deal. Max out.**

**Me- Hope you liked it, please review!**

**Max- I like these cookies. Can I have more?**

**Me- And then Fang found a strange stuffed animal on Max's bed...**

**Max- Okay, okay.**

**-Matt&Max**


	4. Chapter 4

**Max- Well, you normally don't update your stories this quickly.**

**Me- I know. I just felt like it.**

**Max- Bull. There's always another reason.**

**Me- Fine, I decided I wouldn't update my other story, Me, Max, & a Dog Kennel, until I got 5 reviews. I have 4, and I'm going crazy because I really really want to update.**

**Max- So you're adding a chapter here just to get people to go read MM&aDK?**

**Me- Kinda. I also had two new chapters for this story written.**

**Max- You are a sleazy bastard with no sense of self-control or dignity.**

**Me- Yes, very much so. For lack of anything funny to say, on with the chapter...

* * *

**

"Fang? I'm really hungry, you know?" Max had left about an hour ago, so I was the boss now. So now, feeding the starving children was my job. We were coming up on some cliffs, and thanks to Whitecoat-Induced Supervision™ I was able to see a nice-sized cave. I slowly drifted down and landed at the entrance, which was around twenty feet wide. It was as good as I expected to find, and Nudge sat down immediately. I dug a bag of dried fruit out of my bag for her.

"Oh, yes, yes," Nudge said, and I waved a chocolate bar in front of her nose. "Oh, Fang, where did you find this? You must have been hiding it—you didn't say anything, and all this time you've had _chocolate, _and oh, God, it's so good. . ."

I smiled and divulged myself in fantasies of chocolatey goodness.

Dear Lord, that sounded gay.

* * *

"So where's Max?" Nudge asked a few minutes later. "Why'd she go down there? Shouldn't she be

back by now? Aren't we supposed to go all the way to Lake Mead? What are we gonna do if she doesn't

come back soon—"

"Max saw someone in trouble, down below, and went to help," I interrupted. "We'll wait here for her; Lake Mead is right below us." Nudge left, probably to make sure it _was_ Lake Mead, and I wasn't crazy.

"Uh, _Fang?"_

I came out to see what the problem was, and I immediately froze. Among the small plants and large rocks were a bunch of even larger nests, most of them full of fuzzy little baby birds. Many of the babies were looking up at their not-quite-so-fuzzy parents.

Who were eyeing us dangerously.

"What are they?" Nudge whispered out the side of her mouth.

"Ferruginous hawks," I whispered back. "Largest raptor in the States. Sit down, _very slowly. _No sudden

movements or we're both bird feed."

"Do you think—" she began softly, but I gave her the shut-up-if-you-want-to-live look. Just this time, her life actually depended on it.

I squatted down next to her and slowly extended my right wing.

Every hawk head swiveled in unison, staring at my wing.

"I'm letting them catch my scent." I whispered so Nudge wouldn't, you know, go on and on and on…

It took a looooooooong time, but they finally started to relax. I was enjoying feeding time, but Nudge wasn't.

"Eew," Nudge whispered. She was looking at one family having freshly roasted snake for dinner. "Double eew." I just turned to her and smiled. She smiled back, but she didn't know what I was thinking, and why I was smiling.

I knew what was for dinner.

**

* * *

**

Well, snake was for dinner if I didn't end up killing Nudge first.

"Angel's _waiting _for us! I mean, she's like a little sister, like everyone's little sister. At night, when we're supposed to be asleep, me and Angel talk and tell jokes and stuff. I mean, am I going to have to sleep in that room alone, whenever we get home? Max has to come back. She wouldn't let Angel go, right?

What I wanted to say- "SHUT UP ALREADY!"

What I actually said- "No, she won't let Angel go. Look—you see how that big hawk, the one with the dark stripe on its shoulders—you see how he seems to move one wing faster than the other when he banks? It makes his bank really tight and smooth. We should try it."

Easy Way to Get Nudge to Shut Up #307- Suggest a new flying move.

She turned to watch the hawk. "Yeah, I see what you mean. I–"

I jumped off the cliff. Fly with deadly hawks or listen to more Nudge-blabber? Hawks, any day. Even if they were starving and I was covered in snakes and mice and whatever else they eat.

I flew back towards Nudge for a minute. "Come on!" I called. "Try it! You'll fly better."

She joined me in the air, and we spent a few hours in some kind of mid-air ballet, starring two mutants and their distant cousins.

* * *

Nudge was watching the birds. And tearing up. I didn't want to ask, but, as interim leader, it was my job. "What?" If I had to ask, might as well keep it simple.

"These birds! Like, these dumb hawks have more of a mom than I ever had. The parents are taking care of the little ones. No one ever did that for me. Well, besides Max. But she's not a mom," she said, wiping her eyes.

That hit home."Yeah. I get it." She was right, and if I wasn't Mr. Stone-Cold, I may have joined her in near-sobbing. But I was. As the sun set and the hawks turned in for the night, I decided we should too.

I moved over to her and held out my fist. She paused, then stacked her fist on top of mine. It was something we did every night. Just with four more fists.

"Night," she whispered, going to bed. Or, technically, going to cave floor.

* * *

This… was… fun! Awesome! Exhilarating! A lot of other things I don't feel like listing!

I had gotten up before dawn to fly with our newfound friends. I swear, if those Whitecoats hadn't treated us so badly, I'd actually like them. The same wings that screwed up our lives made our lives so much better. No normal person would ever experience this. Heck, nobody had ever experienced this, period. How many people do you see flying around with hawks?

I spotted Nudge wandering out of the cave. I swooped down near her. "Morning."

"I'm hungry," said Nudge.

"Town about three minutes away. Follow me." I changed direction without any effort. Below us was a thin highway one of the empty Route 66-like ones. Probably _was_ Route 66.

There were a few random buildings in a cluster, and one McDonald's had a dumpster behind it. Bingo.

We dove like missiles and landed silently on the edge.

"Nirvana," I said, digging through the food. The near-perfect food. Why do those stupid humans always throw out _food?_ I mean, come on, it's still edible. I dug out a slightly burned Big Mac. "Burger?"

Nudge shook her head. "I don't know—after watching the hawks shredding little animals—oh, but look, here's a couple salads. And some apple pies! Bonus!"

Cool. More for me. After a few minutes, we stuffed as much as we could into our jackets and headed back to our cave.

* * *

I finished off yet another burger and joined Nudge the Birdwatcher. "You know, I think the way they swoop and stuff is like a message to the other hawks. Like they're telling them where there's game or where they'll be or something. I haven't figured it out yet. But I will."

"Oh." I could tell she was trying not to talk.

She didn't even make it five minutes.

"Fang? We've just got to go find Max," she said. "Or should we go on and try to find Angel?"

She had a point. "We're going to circle back, look for Max," I decided. "She must have—run into something." I turned to her. "You ready?"

"Absolutely. Um, where do you think we should—"

I was already gone.

* * *

"Fang? Do you remember where we left Max?"

"Yes." I kept scanning the ground, since I really didn't.

"Are we going to go there?"

"Not if we can help it." Since I really didn't know where that was.

"But why? Maybe Max is hurt and needs help. Maybe we need to save her before we go save Angel."

Time to make something up. "I don't think Max would have gotten hurt all by herself," I said slowly, which was true. "She's not going to fly into a tree or crash-land. So if she's late because she's hurt, it probably means that someone, a person, hurt her. Which means that someone knows about her. We don't want that someone to know about us too. Which they would if we went to where Max is."

Nudge's jaw dropped. Hmm, that was some pretty good bull. Let's try some more.

"And if Max is late because she's busy, then our going to her won't speed things up—she'll come when she's good and ready. So for right now, we do a general look-see. But we're not going all the way back." At least that much was true. I was really just flying around, praying that Max would just show up. Without Max, I was in charge. And… well… let's just say we're all safer with her in charge.

I looked at Nudge… was she _crying?_ No, she wasn't, but she was trying to hold it in. This time, I wasn't asking.

* * *

"Fang!" Nudge shouted. "It's Tipisco, down below! I'm going there!"

Tipisco? Please, someone tell me that's not the same Tipisco we think Nudge is from. "No way, Nudge, don't get sidetracked now. Stay with me."

"No!" She yelled and dove."I have to go find my parents! If Max is gone, I'm going to need someone."

I followed her down, she couldn't be serious. "What? Nudge, you're crazy. Come on, let's talk about it. Let's find a place, take a break."

"No! I'm going down—and you can't stop me!" She kept descending.

* * *

"Nudge, for the last time, give this up. This is a bad idea," I said. "A _terrible _idea."

I had followed her all the way, and now we were, well, in Tipisco. Assuming this trailer park was Tipisco.

I sighed inwardly. She wasn't going to budge. In that case… "Come on. I see Chaparral Court."

We snuck through the tornado magnet, and suddenly Nudge froze. We were in front of Trailer #4625.

"What if they moved? What if you misunderstood what you read and these people aren't related to you at all?" Once again, my attempts to convince her failed. Time to bring out the big gun. "Nudge, even if you weren't a test-tube baby—which you probably were—what if there was a reason they gave you up? They might not want you back."

"Do you think I haven't thought of that?" she whispered with anger. "I know that! But I have to try. I mean, if there's the slightest chance— wouldn't you try?"

Dammit. And she fields the ball perfectly. "I don't know," I finally said.

"That's because you don't need anything or anybody," Nudge said, staring at the mobile home. "But I'm not like that. I need people."

…Wow. Did she really just..? Well, I was pissed, embarrassed, concerned, and pretty much everything else, except madly in love and ecstatic.

A woman came out of the house and sat down in a lawn chair, smoking a cigarette and drinking a soda.

"Coke. It's not just for breakfast anymore," I whispered for no good reason.

"Looking for something, freaks? Guess you found it."

Erasers.

* * *

**Max- At least that chapter wasn't a complete waste.**

**Me- Nope. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed last time! I'm too lazy to go see exactly who did, so I'll just issue a collective thanks.**

**Max- Lazy sleazy bastard...**

**Me- Whatever. Also... uh... yeah, please review and let me know what you think, then please please go check out MM&aDK!**

**Max- *cough* Bastard *cough***

**Me- I heard that. And I thought you said you were gonna leave.**

**Max- One of your beloved reviewers pointed out that you actually _did_ mention the Fang plushie. Therefore, our agreement is off.**

**Me- What? It was in the A/N! It doesn't count!**

**Max- Tell it to the judge, bastard!**

**Me- What judge?**

**Mr. Narwhal- Hello Kevin!**

**Me- That's it, we're done.**

**Thanks for reading! -Matt&Max**


	5. Chapter 5

**Me- This chapter is short, but there's a good reason!**

**Max- You're lazy?**

**Me- No...**

**Max- You're really lazy?**

**Me- No...**

**Max- You're the definition of lazy?**

**Me- Yep! But that's not the reason.**

**Max- Why then?**

**Me- I wrote it at the same time as the last chap, then I realized the result was way to long, so I split it up.**

**Max- Very evenly, I might add.**

**Me- Not really.**

**Max- Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?**

**Me- It's a foreign language?**

**Max- *facepalms***

* * *

I spun around. There were three, and they were all morphing. And one of them looked familiar…

"Ari," I said, trying to stay emotionless.

"Ari!" Nudge said. "You were just a little kid."

_No Nudge, don't encourage him, please…_ I thought.

"And now I'm a great big grown-up Eraser, and you're a little brown piglet. Yum."

"What did they do to you?" Nudge asked quietly. "I'm sorry, Ari."

He frowned. She just hit him hard. He hit back. "Save your pity for yourself. I'm exactly who I want to be. And I've got some news for you. Your hideout in the mountains is nothing but ashes. Your pals keep having unfortunate accidents. You two are the last ones alive—and now we've got you."

As the Erasers laughed, my vision went red. I wanted blood. Even if Max and Iggy and Gaz and Angel were alive… No, they _were_ alive. These Erasers were lying. And Nudge was crying.

Kick-ass time.

"Pinwheel," I muttered to Nudge.

"Cholla first," she muttered back.

"Count of three_._"

Ari hit me on the shoulder. "Shut up!"

"One," I said, and Nudge instantly attacked the second Eraser. He fell backwards… into a cactus. Ouch.

I reached out and grabbed Nudge's arms as she flew sideways towards me, and swung her around so she kicked Ari in the neck. Then I just let go, and her wings did the rest.

"You're gonna die, mutant," Ari snarled, leaping on top of me. He was huge now, and I couldn't get him off. He punched me in the face, once, twice, three times… I couldn't fight back. Another Eraser was kicking me in the ribs, and Ari landed another punch that knocked my head sideways. I spit in his face and immediately regretted it. Ari screamed and drove his fists into my chest. I could feel the ribs breaking, and I knew then that I was done. The pain was too much, and I couldn't take out both of them…

Where the hell was Nudge?

Suddenly Ari was screaming, his face green. _Green? Oh… took you long enough._ He jumped off of me for a second, and I was gone. Nudge kept painting until she ran out.

"You're _dead, _freaks," Ari snarled up at us.

"Oh, like you're not a freak _yourself," _Nudge yelled back. "Try looking in a mirror, dog boy!"

Ari pulled out a gun and started firing. It took every ounce of energy I had left to pour on the speed and get the hell out of there.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Fang. It was my fault you got hurt."

"It wasn't your fault," I tried to comfort her. "You're just a kid."

"Let's go home," she said.

"They said it burned down," I answered.

"No, I mean the home with the hawks." It _was _the only home we had left, if Ari hadn't been lying.

* * *

"Can I interest you in a bit of raw desert rat?" I asked after going hunting.

"Oh, no!" Nudge squealed.

I popped some rat meat into my mouth. "Can't get fresher," I taunted.

"Ugh!" Nudge shuddered.

"Okay, then," I said. "How about some kabobs? You get the vegetables."

_"Kabobs!" _she said, running over. "Where did you get them? You didn't have time to go all the way to town. Oh, my gosh, they're still hot."

"Let's just say some campers are going to be a little surprised," I said.

"Now, _this _is food," she said sinking her teeth into the food.

"So I guess we have to decide whether to keep looking for Max or go try to save Angel," I said, chowing down.

"But the Erasers said everyone else was dead. Doesn't that mean Angel and Max too?" Nudge asked.

"No way to tell," I insisted. "The thing is, if Max isn't here, is it because she's dead? How would they have found her? Angel. . ." I paused. "Well, we _knew _they had Angel. That's probably all over by now."

Nudge held her head in her hands. "I can't think about it."

"I know. But what are your—" I spotted something in the distance.

Nudge glanced up for a second, but then went back to eating. I kept watching the pair of birds flying our way.

Or should I say the pair of 2% birds? I grabbed a mirror and reflected some sunlight, hoping the Gasman would spot it.

And hoping it was the Gasman and Iggy, and not something else.

* * *

Graceful mutants, these two were not, as they almost fell while landing. "You aren't _dead," _Nudge said.

"No. You aren't dead either," said Iggy. "How about just 'hello'?"

"Hi, guys," said Gaz, "We couldn't stay home—there's Erasers all over the mountain. So we decided to come here. Anybody have a problem with that?"

_Not at all, Gazzy, not at all, _I thought.

* * *

**Me- Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a kid! No! It's...**

**Max- The shadow of a dead moth on a flashlight?**

**Me- You're no fun...**

**Max- My pleasure.**

**Me- Hey, did you know the word "gullible" is written in the sky?**

**Max- Really? *looks up* Heeeeeeeey, wait a minute...**

**Me- Classic.**

**Max- Burn in Jeb.**

**Thanks for reading! R&R? -Matt&Max**


	6. Chapter 6

**Me: Guess who's back?**

**Max: Fang?**

**Me: Huh?**

**Max: Back in Black... Ah, never mind...**

**Me: Fang would be the greatest Men In Black EVER.**

**Max: I'd rather not let my boyfriend run around NYC chasing aliens with weird guns and Will Smith.**

**Me: Yeeeeeeaaaahhh.... Whatever. New chapter!

* * *

****Max was back.**

Holy crap, she really was back.

I had never been so happy to see someone flying towards me in my whole life. Okay, I'll admit, I'm just not cut out for that leader crap. Even if it was only two days.

Everyone went nuts when she appeared. Except me, of course. I was going crazy inside, but I'm the emotionless one, remember? I simply motioned back to our cave thing and retreated to my solitude.

Oh yeah, Nudge was there. The terms "Nudge" and "Solitude" are mutually exclusive. The moment I landed, I was shoved to the back of the cave as everyone else forced their way in, telling the amazing Max everything that had happened in the last forty-eight hours. Well, longer, for the resident pyros. So I sat back and observed Ig and Gaz somehow took advantage of Max's good mood to get out of multiple explosion-related incidents.

I got snapped out of my thoughts when I realized everyone had gotten a Max-hug… except me.

Brilliant.

For once, I actually let her hug me. And I'll admit… I kinda liked it.

Did I hug back? No. Gotta keep up that emotionless persona, you know.

But I was more than willing to stack my fist on top of everyone else's. I was more than willing to scream "To Angel!" with the rest of them.

And I sure was willing to hit the air again.

I have wings for a reason.

And we were heading straight for that reason.

* * *

Mom-Max was gone, and Leader-Max came back. Which meant… Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Just kidding, it meant "Pay attention or die." So I did.

"Okay, how about some quick reports?" Max called out to all of us.

_Didn't she already get those?_ I wondered as Nudge (predictably) replied first.

"I tried to find my mom."

"Whaaat?" Predictable Mas-reaction. "Your _mom?"_

Nudge shrugged. "I made Fang go down to Tipisco while we were waiting for you."

_Please, keep me out of this…_

"We found the right address. I saw a woman, and she was my kind of color, but I wasn't sure. Then the Erasers, including that dirtbag Ari, showed up, so we kicked butt and left."

Max seemed to be deep in thought. "So you didn't talk to her? Umm, your mom?"

I take it back. Not very deep.

"No, I'll tell you about it later." Nudge mumbled, suddenly fascinated by her fingernails.

"We know what _you've _been up to," Max said, glaring at the Gasman, before dropping her own bomb.

See? I made a little pun-thing! Aren't I awesome?

Whatever. Back to the story…

"I think I have a tracer chip implanted in me. I'm not positive, but it showed up on an X-ray, and that's what it looked like."

Holy shiznit. Max… Chip… What? "You had an X-ray?" I managed to get out. _Wait… _I mentally slapped myself. _Good job, Fang. Of all the useful information you could have just learned, you want her to confirm that she for a freaking X-RAY._

She confirmed it with a nod. "Details later. If I do have this chip, it explains all the Erasers everywhere—but not why it's taken them four years to hunt us down. And I don't know if any of you have one."

We flew in silence for a while. I was personally debating what body parts I would willingly amputate to get rid of my own chip. Hands, no. Feet, maybe. Any finger or toe except for my thumbs. Plural. I could live with one.

And for all you perverts, no, I would not have "that" amputated. Besides, I would have noticed a piece of metal lodged in there by now.

"Max? Do you think there's still a chance?" Gaz broke the silence.

"I don't know. I hope so," Max said. She was probably lying. We were screwed. "I know I've delayed us by two days. I'm really sorry about that. I just did what I felt I had to do. But we've come this far—there's no turning back. We're going after Angel, no matter what."

This kept getting better.

* * *

"We learned some stuff from the hawks," I said, showing off for Max. "Some banking moves, how they communicate, stuff like that."

"They're really cool," Nudge added, flying closer. "They, like, use the tips of their feathers to help aim them, and we tried it, and it was amazing. A little thing like that makes such a difference. Like, I practically didn't even know I could move those feathers."

"Can you teach us what you learned?" Max asked.

_What, did you expect us to sit on our asses and let you have all the fun? _"Yeah, sure," I said.

Meh. Granola bars. I'd rather take desert rat. But given the circumstances… Max decides to get food RIGHT AFTER I eat one.

"Okay, we need food. And a street map wouldn't be the worst idea in the world," Max proclaimed.

"The School isn't going to show up on any map," I pointed out.

"I know. But we know pretty much where it is— there'll be a blank space on the map, but it would still help us to find roads to get there," Max retaliated.

Fifteen minutes of walking later, we found a strip mall. "Need to get your hair done?" I joked, earning an elbow from Max.

"Well, what now?" the Gasman asked. "Should we keep going?"

"Let me think," Max thought aloud. Annoying, huh?

"Okay," she finally said. "Looks like we'll have to—"

Naturally, a car pulled up right about then. We dove into the bushes as a slick gray car pulled up. Would have been better in black, but hey, it wasn't MY car.

Some mobster opened the window, revealing a terrible taste in loud music, and screamed into his cell phone as he ATMed.

Yeah, I know that's not a word. Screw it.

"Shut up, you idiot!" he yelled. "If you hadn't lost your card, I wouldn't need cash! That's what I get for trusting you with anything! You can't handle getting dressed in the morning!"

"Jerk," Nudge whispered. Good point.

Enter black pickup. Bug black pickup. Big black pickup passing WAY too close to the gray one.

"He's going to go ballistic," I commented. This was gonna be funny.

He did. It was too bad I'd heard (and used) every word he screamed.

Nobody tell Max.

The truck's window rolled down, and I was severely tempted to use a few of them.

"What'd you say, dipstick?" Ari asked with a creepy smile.

* * *

**Me: And the plot thickens!**

**Max: Too bad everyone knows what happens.**

**Me: Meh...**

**Max: So what, you want them to review?**

**Me: Always. Review please, peoples!**

**Thanks for reading! -Matt&Max**


	7. Chapter 7

**Max: Are you kidding?**

**Me: Nope. Okay, everyone, this needs explanation.**

**Max: It sure does.**

**Me: I typed up an extremely long chapter, but my computer's a bitch, and only the beginning saved.**

**Max: Yep.**

**Me: So I'm gonna post this little bit, so you can have _something_ to call an update.**

**Max: Yep.**

**Me: I promise to try and retype is as soon as possible. But until then, enjoy this tiny thing. It's about as long as the A/Ns.**

**Max: Yep.**

**Me: Are you gonna keep saying "Yep?"**

**Max: Yep.**

**

* * *

**

We didn't have to wait long for them to leave. Before long, they were speeding down the road, away from us. Thank God.

But still... Ari was... Wherever we were. "He gets around," I practically whispered.

"Was Ari's hair _green?" _asked Max. Way to go, Max, cut straight to the important stuff...

"Yep," Nudge said. And she didn't say anything else.

The world was ending.

I looked at Max. Then at Nudge. Then at Iggy. In other words we were all looking at each other, trying to figure out what to do next.

Except for Iggy, of course. He was looking at the ATM. Not that he knew it, of course.

_Wait a second,_ I thought, _the ATM's beeping... The screen... Is it still on?_ I turned to look at Max, but she was way ahead of me, already on the move.

Luckily, nobody was looking at us, so we were able to slip across the lot fairly easily. And we found ourselves face-to-face with the Japanese Consitution.

Okay, so it was the ATM, but it might as well have been the Japanese Constitution. We had no idea what to do.

Well, I knew it involved a card, pushing buttons, and bank accounts. But that was all.

On the bright side, the machine seemed to be on our side. "_Do you want another transaction?_" it asked in orange letters.

Hell yes. "Get cash," I advised. Like there was anything else to get.

"You think?" Max replied, as sarcastically as Max can get, which is pretty damn sarcastic.

"Hurry," Gaz said, clearly worried. Like the rest of us weren't.

Max, because she's the boss and therefore does this sort of thing, punched the "_Withdrawal" _button.

_"Please enter the amount you wish to withdraw."_

Max turned to me and asked, "Sixty dollars?" That would buy a lot of food, right?

_What am I, the Flock accountant?_ Heh, if I was, my methods would get me in a lot of trouble. "He was a total jerk. Take him for all he's got."

Max grinned. "You are _evil. _I like that."

Rawr.

She punched a few more buttons, and we got to see just how much money we could, well, "borrow."

The result?

Nudge started doing a little happy-dance, singing, "Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, we're ri-ich, we're gonna buy a ca-ar, oh, yeah."

Well, a $200 car. Since that machine wasn't very generous.

Actually, make that a free car. Since we needed the access code.

"Oh, no," Max groaned. "Did anyone see it?"

I looked around, counting sad headshakes. Max clearly didn't, I didn't, Neither Nudge nor the Gasman did, and, well, Iggy _couldn't_ have...

"I _heard _it," he said.

...

Right.

"I think if we put in the wrong code more than twice, the whole thing shuts down and swallows the card," I said, not completely willing to risk having the blind kid punch random buttons. Something told me that it had a call-the-cops feature built in somewhere...

"Can you do it?" Max asked him.

"Um, I'll try . . ." Igsy said, slowly running his fingers over the keys. Well, time to be mildly supportive...

"It's okay, Ig, just give it your best shot." I could _totally_ be a motivational speaker.

Iggy punched in five numbers. _Pleasepleasepleaseplease..._

_"Access denied. Please check your PIN and try again."_

"Try again," Max encouraged. "You've got the best ears on the planet." I started checking for cops.

He tried again. And...

No money. Bad.

No cops, either. Good.

But then a bunch of twenties started popping out.

"Yes! Freaks rule!" I celebrated, punching the air.

"Grab it and go!" Max called, as Nudge grabbed the cash and we got the hell out of there.

Max grabbed the card on the way out. It could definitely come in handy.

* * *

**Me: So there you go.**

**Max: Yep.**

**Me: I'll hopefully have the rest up soon...**

**Max: Yep.**

**Me: I can understand if you don't review this one, but I'd enjoy it if you did.**

**Max: Yep.**

**Me: ...Can you review and tell Max to shut up? I'd love you for that...**

**Max: Yep.**

**_Thanks for reading! -Matt&Max_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Max: It's four freaking AM.**

**Me: Yeah, and it's 5 AM back home. So our body clocks sa-**

**Max: THAT'S EVEN WORSE! So WHY the HELL are you UPDATING?**

**Me: Because I need to update this story.**

**Max: -facepalm-**

**Me: Enjoy. And get me some coffee.**

**

* * *

**

_$120, $140, $160, $180, $200. _"Too bad we couldn't get more," I mused. Why yes, I am a greedy bastard. Your point?

"Let's go back to the gas station and buy a bunch of food," Nudge urged.

Max disagreed. "People there may have already seen us. We've got to get out of here."

So, naturally, we sat around on our asses.

Nah, there was a red van sitting behind one of the stores, and the driver had gone inside.

I had an idea. I looked at Max. She had the same idea. I think. Angel's the mindreader, not me. I'm just the "emo" kid.

"Money from a jerk is one thing," Max said, "a car from just a guy is something else."

"We'd only need to borrow it for a few hours," I reasoned. "We could leave him some money as a rental fee."

Yeah, we all knew that was a load of crap. Oh well.

"Are we stealing that car?" Gaz asked. "Let's."

Max, of course, wanted to make it clear that we were absolutely not stealing it. "No. We're sort of _thinking _about _borrowing _it."

Of course, that means "stealing" in all fifty states. And Guam.

"That's like Grand Theft Auto," Gazzy suggested. "I saw it on TV. It's popular with kids." Please, nobody tell him what GTA _really_ is…

"Better "borrow" it soon, I hear a chopper," Iggy said.

Oh noes! Iggy, who could hear what a guy freaking was _typing_, could hear a chopper. So it was probably in, like, Italy. Panic time.

Apparently I was the only one to notice that, since Max was hotwiring that car in an instant.

Now, if I remember correctly, Max refused to tell _how_ she hotwired it, for some bullcrap ethical reasons. Never fear, kids, Fang is here!

So, that's how you do it. But remember, only use it during an emergency, such as a robbery, an outbreak of shooting, or you want to go to Disney World, but your parents don't.

Well, with the engine running and the Flock (sans Angel) in the vehicle, we hit a minor problem…

"Oh my God, none of us has ever driven."

Hello, my name is Captain Obvious. I go by Mr. Whoops, Forgot on the weekends.

"I've seen people drive on TV," Max said. "How hard can it be?"

Kids, if you ever hear something about seeing it done on TV, run. Fast. And far. Don't stop until you can't hear the sirens anymore.

"Okay guys, here goes nothing," Max said.

Another reason to run. I braced myself and hoped there were wontons in the afterlife.

* * *

Do you know any bad drivers? I do.

Her name is Maximum Ri… Hang on.

Did Max cut out the… She did! She deleted my instructions… Dammit, Max! This is_ my_ version of the story! You already had yours! You should be glad I'm calling it "The Angel Experiment" like you did, instead of "Fang Saves the Day" or "Fang is Awesome" or "XXX Hot Sexy Girls!"

Hey, whatever sells, right?

But yeah, now she's asking for it.

I know a bad driver. She insists on censoring my story. Her name is Maximum Ride.

She is such a bad driver, that

"What?" she asked me, when she noticed my glare.

_As if you don't know_, I thought. But I said "Could you take it easy on the hairpin turns?"

See, I can be nice if I want to.

"I'm getting better," Max said. "I just had to practice."

"I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that," Nudge said. "For so _long."_

"I don't want to barf in a borrowed car," Gazzy added.

See, this is why you practice _before_ you get into a life-or-death situation.

"We need to turn east in about five hundred yards," Max grumbled.

I could see this one coming.

"Where the heck is the _road? _There's no freaking _road _there!" Max yelled.

"You're going by your own directional senses," I pointed out.

"And there can't be roads everywhere you _feel _like there should be a road," Iggy added.

When I don't hate Iggy, I love him. In a non-gay way. Duh.

20 minutes later, it was obvious that Max also sucked at directions.

"It's okay, Max," Gazzy said.

"Is she hitting the steering wheel?" Iggy asked.

"Look," I said, "There's a town up ahead. Let's go there, get something to eat, and find an actual map. 'Cause this wandering thing ain't workin'." _At all._

Max pulled up to a small restaurant and Nudge and Gazzy jumped out the door. "We're alive!" yelled Gaz.

_"Wait!" _Max yelled. "Look, we're really close to the School. This might _feel _like the middle of nowhere, but really, Erasers could be anywhere and _anyone. _You know that. So we have to be careful."

"We have to eat," Nudge pointed out.

At least her priorities are straight.

"I know, Nudge," Max said. "We're going to. I'm just saying be really careful. Be on guard, be ready to run, okay? _Anybody we see could be an Eraser."_

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

As we climbed out of the car, Max opened up the mirror-thing, and, wouldn't you know it, keys fell out.

"Well, that'll simplify things."

* * *

"I want my room to smell like this," Iggy moaned in pleasure. (Don't take that sexually, you perverts.)

He had a point. Who _wouldn't_ want their room to smell like a fast-food joint?

Okay, that sounded bad. Whatever.

"It would be an improve… SHE DID IT AGAIN! DAMMIT, MAX, STOP MESSING WITH MY STORY!

Well.

Max cut out the part that insulted her.

...Okay, I would have, too, but whatever.

"It would be an improvement," Max agreed, as we jammed into the crowded line.

"I don't eat meat anymore," Nudge announced. "Not after seeing the hawks go through rabbits and snakes and other birds. It's just icky."

I would normally have cared, but I was too busy ordering three double cheeseburgers, a chocolate shake, a soda, three fries, and three apple pies.

"Feeding a crowd?" the woman behind the counter asked.

_Oh, you have no idea, _I thought. But, as always, I said something else: "Yes, ma'am."

I didn't even bother to wait longer than I had to. Iggy's order was a duplicate of mine, and I grabbed our food and hit the first empty booth I saw.

Yeah, have you ever seen a tree-chopper-upper machine? You know, where they take the branch, and it sucks it in and tears it to pieces?

I'm a burger-chopper-upper mutant.

So is the Igmeister.

I didn't even notice the rest of the Flock joining us. I was too busy chowing down.

The food was flying. The stomaches were being filled. The burger joint was getting rich.

I looked up to steal some fries from Max.

I saw more than fries.

I saw Erasers.

Lots of them.

* * *

**Me: Well, there you have it.**

**Max: Yes. And it is FOUR FREAKING THIRTY FREAKING AM. CAN WE SLEEP NOW?**

**Me: I never said you had to stay up...**

**Max: ...**

**Me: -nods-**

**Max: ...**

**Me: Max?**

**Max: ...**

**Me: Hello?**

**Max: ...**

**Me: Earth to Maximum, come in, Maximum.**

**Max: ...I hate this world, and everyone in it.**

**_Thanks for reading! -Matt&Max_**


	9. The End

**Alright, so you may have noticed a huge decline in update frequency. For some stories, it's a complete and total stoppage.**

**Yeah, I noticed too. And there are reasons for each case, but I'm not gonna get into those. I'm gonna keep this simple.**

**The other day, I was talking to Saint about FF. More specifically, how I hated doing tons of Q&A chaps for MM&aDK, didn't know where LL was going, couldn't get any inspiration to continue STW?, etc. And then, of course, she asked the million-dollar question:**

_Saint: ...Here's my question...Do you enjoy writing FF?_

**Well, I thought about that for a bit, and (as you've probably guessed by now), I realized the answer is no. Not anymore. It's become more of a hassle, it's just not as fun anymore. That phase of my life has passed.**

**Since I've been dealing with depression and other fun stuff like that, the less hassles I have, the better. So, well, I'm not gonna write FF anymore. Plain and simple.**

**Now, I don't know if I'm done for good. I have plenty of ideas, I just don't have the inspiration or motivation to bring them into fruition. Maybe I'll start writing again someday, but for now, I'm done.**

**And now, so this doesn't make you depressed, here's a joke:**

**Why was six afraid of seven?**

**It wasn't. Numbers are inanimate objects and are as such incapable of feeling fear.**

**Heheheh...**

**Alright, that'll do it. Thanks for sticking with my craziness for so long, everyone. See ya.**


End file.
